It's those things that make you go Hmmmmm

While posting to a blog the other day I came up with some questions I have always wanted to know the answers to. If you know the answers....could you please tell me what they are? Thanks so much!

Toilet Paper~
I don't really want to know who made it or why....I think we all know why. What I am most curious about is who decided the shape of it. I mean who decided that it should be more square than rectangle? And why not have them 8 inches long instead of 5? Or even how wide it is? Who said it should only be about 4 inches wide? Was there a round table meeting about it? Did people sit around holding toilet paper and cut it and folded it and finally decided this is what we will forever use to wipe our butts?


Pop Can Tabs~
I have always wondered about those little suckers. First off, if they didn't want us pulling them off they shouldn't have made it so relaxing to sit there and flip it back and forth and back and forth and back and forth till the darn thing popped off! Oh, and just exactly what does Ronald McDonald do with all those pop tops and how does he get money from them??


Drive through Liquor Stores~
No where in the US can you drive and have an open alcoholic beverage in your car. So what exactly is the point of a drive through liquor store?? I mean they are always pelting us with those don't drink and drive ads yet a drive through liquor store can get a business license?


Sterile Lethal Injection~
I am sure you have thought about this one. Why do they swab alcohol on the arm before they stick the needle in for lethal injection?? I mean he's being put to death but we are worried about infection? Is it concern for our worm population? I don't get that one at all!


Hospital gowns~
This one I am sure was done by some prankster as a joke and no one realized it was a joke so we will forever be walking around hospitals with our asses hanging out. Somewhere that man is laughing his non exposed ass off all the way to the bank!


Psychic~
How come you never hear of a psychic winning the lottery? If you could tell the future would you know the numbers each week and cash in?? I mean right before you created world peace and all.


Oscars~
Where do they store the huge golden Oscar all year until it is awards time again? Is there a guard for the Oscar?


Little Caesars~
Does the mascot for Little Caesars wear underwear under his toga?


Edible Underwear~
Who on god's green earth came up with this??? I mean, is having sex with a woman so much work that you need a snack and fear of eating all her good panties you get her some made out of fruit roll up?? Doesn't sugar down there cause yeast infections?? Are you trying to make sweet bread??


Women's Health~
While we are talking about that area, why is that the woman who does the herpes ad also does the vaginal odor ad. And she does the yeast infection ad, and the tampax ad, and the home pregnancy ad?? Frankly we know way too much about her vagina!!


I will it at that for now. But I am sure I will get off on pondering things like this again.