"So, who's the daddy?"

My youngest is an adorable little girl. Well, all three of my kids are adorable, but that little one is funny. There will never be an end to the funny stories I can share thanks to this one.

We are at the pool the other day having a good time. My girl and I are working on our tans and the kids are swimming with friends. We get in quite a bit to join in the fun playing sharks and minnows or dunking...whatever the game is at the time.

No matter where we go, it is often asked who is the mom. They are usually asking who is the biological mother. I of course let them know that is me. I then point out they look more like their dad. Here is where it usually gets weird.

We live in this world of politcal correctness. I am not complaining, just helping to explain. Everyone is so careful about what they ask and how they ask it. It would seem a lot of straight people have no clue how gay relationships work (as if they are night and day different from straight relationships) and want to ask questions. They are not sure they can ask questions though! Unless they are 8. At the age of 8 you are free to ask any question you want and it's ok. You're a kid and you don't understand and you want to know. Your mother might want the earth to open up and swallow her at that moment but you can still ask! This is what happened.

We are swimming with the kids and their little friends. One of the girls asks my youngest who is the mommy. My daughter points out that I am the mommy. She then goes on to say that my girl is her step mommy and she has another step mommy and a daddy. Her friend is very confused at this point and her mother who is right behind her is starting to pray in her head. "Lord, please do not let her ask...don't...please!" Too late. The little friend looks at my girl and asks...are you the daddy? I give a little laugh as my girl gets nervous on how to explain. I decide to save her.

"Her dad lives with his new gf." "This is my gf." The little girl does not understand. She then wants to know where my bf is. I explain I don't date boys I date girls. The mother is listening very closely and decides that since we are so open she can get her lesbian education.

I get to sit for the next 45 minutes in the shallow end of the pool explaining how lesbian relationships work. How we do things like other couples, have the same stress, and so on. The woman was just in awe.

Do people really think we are that different? She tells me she was sure we all had orgies and jumped from one partner to the next and other such things. I laughed. I explained that we weren't the local frat and it's sad that the world has given her view like this.

A little while later she comes back and wants to talk more. At the end of the conversation she says....it must be awful having a relationship without sex. What?? I asked what made her think we didn't have sex and she stammers to explain that you can't without "the male member". I about die. I am laughing so hard I can't breathe! My girl now wants the world to swallow her up!

I got to educate a middle aged, hoity toity yuppie house wife about oral sex, and the art of girl on girl love making. What is even more amazing than that...she didn't blush once...in fact...had we not been in a pool I am sure she would have been taking notes!

I think I am going to start a new business...I am going to go from yuppieville to yuppieville and educate those poor housewives on the ways of the world. Saving all of those other helpless lesbians in the neighborhood pools from having to explain, "Which one's the mommmy and which one's the daddy?"