Diets Suck!!

I am on a diet.

That sentence stands alone, all by itself, for the pain it inflicts on me. I hate to diet. I hate to exercise when it's a hundred degrees outside. I also hate being fat. So something has to change.

First I am cursed with more boob than one person could ever need or want. When you gain weight it seems to make them even bigger. Big boobs alone make it hard to fit in those rides where the harness comes down over your head to keep you from flying out. It's not a pretty sight when I have to squeeze and mash them in there. And after the ride, as you pull back up to the station, you look like you have three boobs because part of them have squeezed out the sides but some was trying to escape in the middle. Beautiful right?

Eating in public when you are overweight is miserable. I love to dip my french fries in my frosty at Wendy's. LOVE IT! However, if you are a chunky butt like me and do this..people watch. As if they are the cops of what goes in my trap. What's great is they are usually sitting there eating a double cheeseburger themselves.

Water parks. I hate swimsuits in any fashion. Keeping your boobs in suit is a hard enough if they are of normal size. I cannot count the number of times I have flown down a slide just to realize my top bailed out on me half way down the slope. What's worse is I don't usually notice until my top floats by me and everyone is laughing.

So, I am on a diet. I have cut back on how much I eat and what I eat. I try and get a bike ride in a day and a walk. It's hot right now so have been doing it at night after the sun goes down but still getting it in. I also have been swimming as often as possible. Remember not a fan of the swimsuit so not as eager to do that one.

I have one serious weakness though. Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I love them. I don't get them very often. Usually if they are fresh at Wal-Mart. We don't go there very often so I am pretty safe. However the second I decided to go on this diet.....they are everywhere!! Did someone call ahead..."Alert Alert, Wendy is on her way in the store...place out all the doughnuts!" It's probably right after the announcement to put out the cart with the broken wheel and to get all the old people set up in my way.

I also wonder why you can't look a bit more flattering while working out. When I am riding my bike I am sure many think of an elephant on a tricycle. (Only I don't have a little bell) You would think there would be a way to look better as you work out so you weren't so scared to be seen doing it. Going to the gym is worse. Working out next to barbie and ken isn't helping me much. In fact last week I was sure I would start chewing on her leg if I thought there was any meat there.

So, hopefully by next summer(I know this summer isn't over yet, I have to be realistic here) I will be happy to get in a swimsuit. If not, invest in Krispy Kreme as they will still be making money off of me!